ICAV Paragraph Structure

Quite some time ago, we're talking about 10 years, I attended some Professional Learning run by Emily Bosco and Anthony Bosco of Into English. This PL was focused on Nineteen Eighty-Four but the thing that stood out to me was a paragraph components activity where four different elements were highlighted to help students understand the purpose of each part. 

(Full disclosure: I've since gone on to write for Into English but this was back when I'd only been teaching English for a couple of years and didn't know Emily or Anthonyyet). 

Anyway, the activity in the Nineteen Eighty-Four PL was focused on vocabulary and crafting a paragraph with enough relevant detail. I'm not here to talk about this today. I want to look instead at how the four different elements can be used to prompt students to think about writing structure. 

I don't personally invest myself as a teacher in any particular paragraphing acronym. Off the top of my head, I'm familiar with or have taught (or been required to teach): PEEL, TEEL, CLACEL, PEAL, TEAL, ALARM, PETAL, SEAL, OREO and I'm sure there have been some others. To be honest, it doesn't matter which of these get used, the point is whether a student understands it and if they're able to use the acronym to build an effective framework for writing about texts. With this in mind, I tend to use whatever each particular class is likely to 'get'. If the school is an ALARM school then it makes sense to use ALARM because students should (hopefully) already understand it. If some students are really struggling and have some literacy deficits, then I'll probably aim for something as simple as PEE (Point Example Explanation) just to get them started. If I have a class of skilled reader/writers then I might tell them to just write freely without thinking about paragraph formulae at all and then go from there. And if a student has a tutor who's taught them a completely different way of writing a paragraph that I hadn't even considered, then who am I to stop that if it's working? My point is that I've come to realise that there's no definitive way of doing it. 

This brings me to ICAV. I don't use this all the time but I've found that sometimes, with some particular students who are a bit stuck, that it helps them to think about things in a different way. 

What it is: Something that can kickstart a student's thinking and get them writing, which is often the biggest hurdle. 

What it isn't: A formula for writing HSC examination essays (...unless, of course, it seems to work within this context for a particular student!) 

Here is a quick explanation of the acronym:

• Idea. Same as concept, topic sentence, thesis, or point. What is the main idea that your paragraph is exploring?
• Context. Provide some background for your idea. Expand on your initial sentence by adding some contextual details. 
• Analyse. Provide an example from the text with analysis of an identified technique.
• Values. What conclusions can be drawn about the values being explored in the text? What stance or position is potentially being suggested by the author?

I like it because it builds-in a relevant way of talking about context. The values bit at the end also helps students reconceive their overall paragraph in a new way so that they're not just repeating their main point.

Here are examples of how it can be used with a preamble for students to read. The first is a general example and the second a specific one.

Poetry

ICAV (Ideas Context Analyse Values) is a way of structuring and writing paragraphs. The first step is to pick a poem, any of the ones we've looked at this term, and to write at least four sentences using the guideline below so we can start practising paragraph writing.

1. Write a sentence or two explaining the main IDEA of the poem. Don't forget to mention the name of the poem and its composer.
2. What is the CONTEXT behind this poem and idea? Think about how they connect.
3. Give at least TWO examples from the text that explore the idea. Use 'inverted commas' to quote each example, identify the techniques used, and ANALYSE how this technique highlights or enhances what the poet is trying to say.
4. Link back to what the poet VALUES and how the poem explores this.

Writing about Fritz Lang's Metropolis

Examine a range of Metropolis screenshots and select one to form the basis of your paragraph. 

• Write down an IDEA that's relevant to what you see.
• EG. Capitalist control of the means of production.
• EG. Dehumanisation resulting from capitalist exploitation of workers.
• Expand upon your topic sentence by giving further CONTEXT.
• EG. Marxism, industrial expansion after WWII, influence of German industrialists like Hugo Stinnes.
• ANALYSE techniques - deconstruct the screenshot in terms of what connects it to the context.
• EG. The close-up of the clock is symbolic of the amount of time workers are required to work, and the way that their time has been turned into a commodity to be exploited. 
• What conclusions can you draw about the VALUES of the composer?
• EG. Lang establishes the value of the individual by calling the viewer's attention to the process of dehumanisation visited upon the workers. 

It's not a revolutionary approach but it can be a useful way to mix things up a bit. I've found that it works best with the outliers at either end of the bell curve - students who find it difficult to write paragraphs altogether and students who are quite high ability but need that spark to get them started.

Credit to Emily Bosco and Anthony Bosco for the initial Idea, Context, Technique, Values approach to paragraph vocabulary. 

Scaffolding Paragraph Construction

If there's one thing I was never explicitly taught as an English student back in the 1990s, it was how to write an essay. Even in my time as a senior student, I don't remember ever being conscious of how to write one... I wrote them, of course, and I got good enough marks to justify my later life choices, but essay and paragraph structure weren't ever focused on in my days as a student. 

This presented me with a challenge when I became a teacher. The day I became an English teacher was the day when I first had to start thinking about how essays were written. I observed my fellow teachers and backwards-engineered A range student responses, learned about PEEL paragraphs for the first time and, a bit later, ALARM. I've since come across a range of acronyms that help to formularise and quantify the process of paragraph writing in English... PEAL, TEAL, PEEEL, ICAV, CLACEL, OREO. 

I don't begrudge any of these. Whatever works, right? I just don't have the experience of learning these as a student, and I think it's important for teachers to have such experiences to call upon. Being inside the learning process as student is very different to constructing it as teacher.

I've since tried my hand at writing in the aforementioned formulae for this precise reason, sometimes under fake student names so that I can get an honest appraisal from my teaching peers (a daunting process, let me tell you!). Thankfully, my essays have received appropriately high marks when I've done the 'fake student' thing, but I have to admit that I don't think I do my best writing in the context of using paragraph formulae and scaffolds. When I meet students who have an instinct for writing I encourage them to avoid squeezing themselves into the acronyms, at least as much as our system allows.

That's enough reflection for now. Below is a task that I wrote a couple of years ago while I was thinking about paragraph writing. I've since used it with Stage 5 classes (both Year 9 and Year 10) and it works pretty well. 

It relates to the documentary Blackfish and aims to familiarise students with the idea of supporting a concept statement with relevant examples and analysis. The task does not require students to come up with said examples and analysis as I wanted to explicitly and specifically hone in on the actual construction of the paragraph. As I've explained before on this blog, I think we sometimes get too open-ended as teachers and become afraid to show students exactly how things are done because we don't want to be seen as doing the work for them. Unfortunately, this approach can leave students completely in the dark and they can become unwilling to attempt tasks that they perceive as just too complex.

Here is my thinking:

• Academic paragraph writing is complex. It requires the synthesis of multiple skills - conceptualising, judicious selection of evidence, the ability to write sentences in a variety of structures, use of appropriate vocabulary in a high modality, use of a wide and subject-specific vocabulary (IE. Metalanguage), the use of a paragraph structure that makes internal sense whilst also operating within the wider context of an essay, and memorisation of detailed content that can be recalled in essay-writing contexts that may not allow for notes to be on hand.  
• In order to get students to even start doing the above, I need to remove some of those skills from the playing field. I need to zoom-in on just one or two things and make sure students are confident with these first, and I need to do it in a way where students have the ability and confidence to complete the task whilst also still learning new things (that zone of proximal development we're all familiar with from our university pedagogy days).
• In this particular task below, students are being taught TWO things - the ordering of information within a paragraph, and how to generate a concept based on two different examples from a text. 

The task:

1. Students are given this worksheet.
2. Students pick two pieces of evidence from the worksheet that they think are similar, or that they like the look of. Higher ability students can fill in details about the point being made by each piece of evidence.
3. Students think of something they could say that brings these two pieces of evidence together. What common idea is within them? How are they similar? What argument do they both support? This is then written onto the top of the sheet.
4. Students then write a paragraph that starts with the concept statement they have created and copy the two examples in after it. This is done under timed conditions (9 or 10 minutes for Year 9, 8 minutes for Year 10).

There are three things to watch for when students construct the paragraph. These are things we may take for granted, or things that have not been explicitly taught to students before.

• Make sure the students are putting their sentences one after the other in the paragraph. Some students will start a new line for every sentence which makes the paragraph look like three small separate paragraphs. It can mean a couple of things when students do this, the most worrying of which is that they may not think of all these separate sentences as being part of something cohesive that belongs together. Some students won't learn this through being told ahead of the task, they will need to physically write it wrong first and then have the teacher correct it in front of them in person. 
• The two examples will need some adjusted wording or a connective clause of some sort between them. EG. Additionally, In addition to this, A further example of this is, Moreover, etc. Not all students will instinctively know this, especially if they haven't done a lot of (or any) academic reading. 
• For students who have no trouble assembling the paragraph quickly and understanding all of the above, this could be the time where you introduce the idea of a linking sentence at the bottom that consolidates the concept of the overall paragraph and ties things back to a bigger idea (the thesis). Stronger English students will be able to do this quite well in Stage 5.  

Happy paragraphing!

Disclaimer: The above resource was created specifically for this blog in my own spare time. 

Using Schemas with Related Texts

The drive for senior NSW students to locate and select their own related texts has diminished somewhat since the days of Belonging and Discovery. The 2019 syllabus de-emphasised it across the entire Standard and Advanced curriculum, relegating it as a single Common Module element that doesn't require external assessment (meaning there is no requirement for students to recall their related text in the HSC exam... make of that what you will!) 

All that said, Extension English 1 still requires students to find some related texts for their elective module. In total, the elective module involves the study of three prescribed texts (selected from a pool of six) and two related texts - with students expected to (most likely) draw upon their knowledge of two prescribed and one related text for the HSC question. 

In a 1 hour exam context, it's quite a feat to be able to tie together that many texts and tailor a response to a previously unseen essay question.

I found myself grappling with this challenge when I first picked up an Extension class a few years ago, thinking to myself: 

How does one prepare Year 12 students to be adaptable while managing sophisticated and interlocking knowledge of that many texts?

A schema works. This is a way to guide students in pulling out specific textual examples from their texts. The examples are collected in connection to the module descriptor, which can be a highly effective way to organise thinking if the student is made to do it over and over again with in the following ways:

1. Use the schema with multiple texts at the same time in a single lesson
   
2. Use the schema with the same texts at different times throughout the year
   

My schema was developed for the Literary Homelands elective but versions could be easily made for any of the other electives. I was heavily influenced by Paul Kiem's excellent video on the Question 1 segment of the History Extension exam. I recommend watching it even if you have no connection at all to the teaching of History as it's a really valuable approach to teaching adaptable critical thinking and the synthesis of ideas at a more academic level. 

Download schema here.

Once students have used the schema a bunch of times they can then try out some paragraph or essay responses. I start them out with the instruction to come up with a thesis in response to the question (a whole other exercise) and then to tie this thesis to one of the themes in the schema. The notes the student has made on each of their texts (both prescribed and related) in relation to this specific theme can then be pulled from each schema to construct a single thematically-driven essay paragraph that ties together two, three or even four texts. 

It's not the only way to do things but my students found it helpful so maybe yours will too :)

Writing in Response to the Literary Homelands Prescribed Texts

One of the challenges of the HSC Extension English syllabus is the idea that students need to analyse a broad selection of texts as part of their elective. The mandated amount of texts for study are as follows:

• Three of the Prescribed Texts (two of which must be 'extended print' texts - this means two drawn from the available novel, non-fiction text, drama, and short story suite options).
• Two related texts.
  

This means that, in response to the question given in the HSC Exam for the Elective, students will need to be able to ostensibly call upon detailed knowledge of up to five texts (though in reality, it's most likely to be two prescribed texts and one related). Putting aside any concerns we might have about the level of depth that this allows for in a single one-hour exam, students are required to have a holistic enough understanding of the studied texts to be able to achieve a synthesis of understanding in response to the Elective descriptor. 

So how do we teach this?

There are many roads to Rome, so to speak, but having just finished teaching the new syllabus for the second time I feel more ready now to share a particular approach after fine-tuning the way it works in action. 

This hinges on the use of a schema - download here.

1. Start with your normal way of approaching each text. Students should read, and re-read, and discuss, and analyse, and write about the texts in a variety of ways.
   
2. There then needs to be common identifiable threads that can be applied to all of the texts. This requires legwork from the teacher because students will not have read all of the texts until the end of the course. Part of this legwork has been done already in the Elective descriptor, and this is reflected in the schema. There is room on the schema for additional concepts to be drawn out from all of the combined texts that have been chosen for the students. As far as the Literary Homelands Elective goes, I've indicated a range of common concepts in the schema and left space for the class to come up with further ones throughout the duration of the course.
   
3. After each text has been studied, students look at the schema and connect their analysis to each concept (or half of the concepts - your mileage may vary). 
4. As you move through the course, students come back to this schema over and over again, using the concepts to discuss commonalities and differences, building up their meta-analysis of  Literary Homelands.

Eventually students internalise many of the concepts. They pick out their favourites and they start connecting quotes to a thesis they develop in response to each concept. They write paragraphs exploring their meta-analysis of each concept. 

And then you chuck some HSC-style questions at them and they practise rearranging their meta-analysis accordingly.

This schema approach could be easily adapted to each of the electives. You'll just need to examine the the Elective descriptor for your chosen Elective and use the indicated key concepts to fill in the schema accordingly. Once you've read the Prescribed Texts as the teacher, undertaken some professional learning, or read associated academic texts, you can then populate the schema further to suit the needs of the Elective.

Modelling Essay Writing

Earlier this year I had the pleasure to write a student resource textbook on The Merchant of Venice for the HSC 'Texts and Human Experiences' Common Module. I wrote this at the invitation of Into English (the book can be found here [digital e-book] and here [print edition]). It was something I did separately to my teaching as I actually taught my 2019 Year 12 class Nineteen Eighty-Four for the Common Module, and this means that I haven't had much of a chance to reflect on the module from a Merchant of Venice standpoint. Anyway, long story short, I've received some questions over the last few months about essay writing for The Merchant of Venice and this prompted me to write a sample paragraph. 

This paragraph can be viewed as supplementary material in support of one of the sample questions in the Into English book. The question itself isn't too important as the piece is predominantly designed to just demonstrate the components of a paragraph addressing human experiences, and can hopefully be used as a model for students to look at.

Here's the paragraph in question:

Sample Paragraph

The Merchant of Venice, through its exploration of the way in which people respond to appearances, reveals particular inconsistencies inherent in the human condition. This is perhaps best exemplified by the Prince of Morocco's observation that "All that glisters is not gold", an aphorism in which the deceptiveness of appearances is rendered concisely on multiple levels. Primarily, this remark is made in response to the false selection of a gold casket in the test for Portia's hand in marriage. It also doubles, however, as a metaphor for one of the play's key themes, wherein society often projects a shiny veneer that covers uglier truths. The antipathy that exists between Antonio and Shylock similarly conveys this context, with Antonio using the simile "like a villain with a smiling cheek" to describe Shylock's offer to loan him money, highlighting the apparent act of kindness as being inherently deceptive and evil. The inability of Christians and Jews within Renaissance-era Europe to see each other's true nature is further reinforced by Shylock's rhetorical identification of Antonio's hypocrisy, exemplified by the line "You called me 'dog' - and for these courtesies I'll lend you thus much money?" From a 21st century context, the audience is positioned to give equal weight to both the Christian and Jewish standpoint, and Shakespeare's depth of understanding becomes clearer from this more enlightened vantage point. In his examination of deceptive appearances, Shakespeare utilises these discussions to bring to the surface a range of inconsistencies in human behaviours and attitudes in order to demonstrate how conflict originates in such duplicity.

Annotated Paragraph

To assist with breaking up the above paragraph into its constituent parts, I have also attached an annotated version below.

Here it is: The Merchant of Venice and Human Experiences

I wanted to put the annotations up here directly but I couldn't figure out how to do it within a blog. I mean, to be honest, it's the end of the year and I'm feeling pretty exhausted so I didn't really invest too much time in trying to figure out how to convey annotations in the blogging format. 

Okay, look, if I'm really honest I didn't invest any time in figuring out how to convey annotations here. It's been a long year.

I would like to add that I wish you all the best over the upcoming holiday break!

Dracula Term 2: Texts, Culture and Value

At the start of the year I consolidated the first term's lessons for a revised unit of work focused on Dracula for the Year 11 Extension English 1 module Texts, Culture and Value. This first term focuses on Dracula itself, an introduction to important contextual information for study, and interacting with academic paratext to build a level of understanding suitable to an Extension English context (and hopefully prepare students for university-level study!).

In continuation of this, the second term of the module addresses a modern text (The Lost Boys) and introduces material that supports students in their undertaking of the Related Project. Without further waffle, here's the resources for the term in a single document for easy access:

• Dracula Term 2: Texts, Culture and Value

And here's the associated PowerPoint, some of which was adapted from ideas shared by Eva Mayes in mETAphor Issue 2, 2012, in the article 'The Language of Comparison' (hence why the PPT is mislabelled - a fair bit of it has been changed from the original DoE document that was initially shared with me):

• 9-1. Utilising Sophisticated Language PPT

And the two video clips referenced in the program:

As stated in the previous blog, the main document is designed to be printed as a booklet and given to each student. There's a section in the front of the booklet that explains how each of the resources work. It's more for the teacher but it doesn't hurt for the students to see it and track their progress. The document also includes a formal assessment task (the Related Project) and an informal assessment task (a proposal for the Related Project presented in viva voce form). You can teach the whole unit as it is, or pull it apart and use bits and pieces, rewrite stuff from it, etc.  

A reiteration of the caveats I mentioned last time too:

• The module has been designed from a place of non-assumption; that is to say, everything is laid out for the students as if they are coming to everything in this for the first time because, well, they probably are. Some material has also been included to build skills that should assist students in their HSC year (without touching any of the HSC content, of course).
• One of the larger parts of the booklet is the Study Guide to The Lost Boys (Resource 3-1). I've posted an earlier version of this document on this blog before but the version in the updated module now includes student questions in the analysis column. I don't expect students to answer every question but, as a form of differentiation, students should aim to answer at least one question per page. 
• The readings included are mostly extracts sourced from online. Sources have been included on all of these except for one. The one with no author attributed to it was written by myself, adapted from a review I wrote in a previous life as a film reviewer. I've included each of the readings here because, as you'll probably already know, things on the internet have a tendency to disappear sometimes! Incidentally, if you're reading this and happen to be the author of one of these online pieces and would like it removed from this not-for-profit educational document then please just let me know and I'll take it out.

If you have any questions please fee free to contact me by commenting below, or using the email address in the booklet.

Incorporating Drafting into Extended Response Assessment Tasks

With the advent of NESA's stipulations for HSC Assessment, in which students may only sit one formal examination per subject (including essays set in this fashion), there is now an increased need to senior students to practise the writing of extended responses in a meaningful fashion. Prior to the new rules, students might have written essays in assessable conditions anywhere up to 3 or 4 times across their final schooling year, but now this is no longer possible.

One way to get around this is to incorporate drafting into an assessable essay. This takes away the formalised examination context and - in the spirit of what NESA is hoping for - allows for a less stressful approach to essay writing in which students can engage with assessment as learning. 

There are two examples here for different subject areas, both of which were written for the older syllabus that ended this year. Regardless of your KLA, it's worth checking out both of them as they represent different approaches to the drafting process.

• Advanced English Example

• Modern History Example

Both tasks utilise an analytical marking criteria (as opposed to the holistic style rubrics used for HSC marking). It's a different way to mark than what we may be used to, however, it's imperative to use an analytical-styled criteria when undertaking assessment as learning as it allows the students to identify specific skills they can work on to consolidate strengths and address weaknesses. 

The holistic marking grid (in which student ability is represented in bands of grouped criteria) is specifically designed as the absolute end point of the learning process, IE. This style of criteria gets used for HSC marking because the students don't get to see how they're marked at this point. An analytical marking grid (in which specific skills are addressed with their own independent marks) is designed to offer meaningful feedback to the student, and this is often what a lot of Australian universities use for their humanities courses when demonstrating to students what criteria they need to address when submitting assignments.

Anyway! In terms of the resources attached above:

The Advanced English task requires students to submit a draft at some point before the final submission date. In terms of making their drafting visible to the marker, 5 of the 25 marks have been allocated to a reflection statement that they must attach to their final submission. 

The Modern History task strips back the differentiation of skills (it's only a 15 mark response) in order to take the pressure off students who are being asked to do multiple drafts. The drafting process is incorporated here as a non-mandatory due date, which works as thus:

• Students submit a draft about one week before the final due date. Students can't be penalised if they don't submit at this time - it isn't mandatory and it isn't the final due date.
• The teacher marks the drafts and gives them back to the students with feedback.
• Students have an option to re-submit on the final due date for re-marking. If they choose not to do this then they take the mark they've already been given instead.

Roughly half the students in this scenario re-submit a new draft for marking. The other half aren't interested in "doing the assessment task twice" and will take the mark they've been initially given. It turns out to be a remarkably efficient approach as you get to finalise marks for half the students before the final due date.  

I'll write another blog down the track once I've had a chance to develop more assessments in response to the new syllabus.

Pushing the Paragraph

Write! Write like the wind!

A while ago I was marking NAPLAN and my desk buddy told me about something she does with her senior classes to help them prepare for the HSC. It was a while ago so I can't recall all the details but the idea was that students are given a paragraph (or essay) prompt and only six minutes to write in response to it. The reason for it being six minutes is that someone, somewhere, crunched the numbers and worked out averages to determine that this is roughly how long it should take per paragraph to generate enough output to qualify their essays as a 'sustained' response in a HSC setting.

I love this idea because, well, other things I'd tried weren't really working. I would give classes practice essay questions to do and the results would be middling at best; the high-performing students would jump into the questions and it was great practice for them, but the students who still had much more potential for further growth would find it too overwhelming. A different someone, somewhere, told me once that, "You don't run a marathon as practice to run a marathon," and I liked that; it resonated with me. The HSC is a massive undertaking that requires a highly-condensed explosion of writing unrivaled in other stages of education - the vast majority of students will never go through anything even remotely like the HSC examinations ever again so it's quite understandable that the less academically-primed students would be reticent to write essays in order to practice before they're asked to write essays in the HSC.

It's much less confronting for most Year 12 students to write paragraphs instead. And, yes, some still try to avoid it, however, when I'm collecting data every single time and letting students see their progress, it becomes difficult for the reluctant to continue non-attempting. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

The Goal

In getting students to write paragraphs I want them to be mindful of what they're writing rather than simply trying to write as much as possible. Part of keeping them focused is to make them aware of the lexical density of their writing. 

Lexical density refers to the amount of lexical items found in a piece of writing. A lexical item is any word or word-group that carries meaning on its own, IE. A noun, a verb, an adjective, or an adverb. These are words that we can easily define or can swap with synonyms. If a word isn't a lexical item then it's a grammatical one - these are all the joining or connecting terms, some examples being 'with', 'what', 'it', 'the', 'however', 'in other words', etc. What we want to do is to have students write paragraphs and then test how dense they are with lexical items.

Testing the lexical density of a paragraph is to see how much 'content' is in a piece of writing. The key here is not to think about lexical density in terms of a higher amount of content equalling better writing, it's more a measurement tool that can help pick up patterns and identify trends in writing on repeated examination. 

Some things to keep in mind:

• A high lexical density (say, a piece of writing that is 80% made up of lexical items) might indicate a piece of writing that is too jargonistic, or convoluted, or loaded with words that the writer doesn't necessarily understand. 
• A low lexical density (below 50%) might demonstrate too much colloquialism, informality in sentence construction, or a lack of appropriate vocabulary.
• I'd probably say that the 'sweet spot' would be anywhere between 55% and 75%, but I'm not completely nailed down on this yet. Ask me again after I've collected data from a few more classes over the next 5 years!

The goal is to have students produce something within the 'sweet spot' bracket but, more importantly, to generate a word-count of 180 words or so within the 7 minutes given. The lexical density testing is a byproduct of building speed; by having the students focused on vocabulary in this way it ensures that they are keeping some kind of standard in mind in terms of ensuring that quality isn't sacrificed in order to just increase speed.

The Process

Written language tends to be more lexically dense and less grammatically intense than spoken language. Part of testing lexical density is to teach students to switch codes when writing and ensure that they aren't getting too conversational.

To calculate lexical density there needs to be a bit of maths in play (sorry!) This is represented as a percentage and is created through the following formula:

Get students to give you their lexical density percentage and word count after they've written a paragraph in response to an essay question. You want to do this a couple of times a term so you can start to build a reliable data set.

The Data

This is the cool bit, and it comes especially in handy during parent-teacher interviews when parents are interested in seeing how their child is progressing in their writing skills. By using the graph function in Word you can start to assemble a visual representation of student growth in regards to word count in timed conditions. It also allows both the teacher and the student to identify patterns in lexical density, which allows students to meet Outcome 9 (the reflection outcome). 

Record the information with pen and paper each time the students undertake paragraph writing in this fashion. It's best if you have a separate sheet for each student - that way you can record the information in front of the students without them seeing what their peers are doing (not that it's really a secret, students are usually okay sharing numbers related to this stuff because it's not formally assessed). The reason this is useful is that if particular students don't partake in the activity, or they make a series of excuses, they can see how this looks on paper over time. The realisation that you are collecting this information on a regular basis will prompt a lot of these students into action.

Student A shows growth in word count over time. They were already performing at a high level in terms of generating long paragraphs in short amounts of time, however, seeing this information presented in this way helped them push themselves further. The lexical density was way too dense at the outset - a lot of overstretching of vocabulary. We took at a look at some of the vocabulary used and worked on making the language more concise, which had the added bonus of increasing the amount of analysis they could get across in the time given.

Student B struggled with the concept of these paragraphs at first as they were nervous about not performing well. Eventually they joined in after realising that I wasn't going to stop running the activity, and they actually did quite well.

Student C showed phenomenal growth in word count whilst maintaining lexical density.

Once Student D joined in they started to show growth as well.

Student E really pushed themselves to extend the word counts they were achieving in 7 minutes.

At the end of each semester I give the students a copy of the data (such as the graphs above) to make sure that they're partners in the process. The above graphs are also what are given to the parents. It doesn't necessarily all have to be done the way I've described it but the main point is that students are practising writing in timed conditions without having to commit to an entire essay every time.

Critical Study of a Text: Hamlet (Revision)

These are the end days! As the old syllabus hurtles towards its inevitable demise a new one waits just over the hill for its moment of dawning. English faculties all over NSW are busy securing class sets of new prescribed texts and creatively funneling old prescriptions into the junior years to cut down on expenses. As our bookrooms shift and re-arrange themselves like cities collapsing into new shapes under the exertion of tectonics, the dust begins to clear and a single, lone gem can be seen shining in the rubble.  

Hamlet.

The most discussed text ever written, the ur-character piece, the most coveted stage role of the 19th and 20th centuries, the single greatest play by the single greatest playwright. The very text that gives credence to the idea of a literary canon.

It has floated from syllabus to syllabus, ever-present but sometimes less obviously so than at other times. Most recently it was one of the cornerstones of Advanced English Module B: Critical Study of a Text, but as of next year this will no longer be the case. In 2019, Hamlet will move to one of the Extension English 1 electives.

It's a move that will mean two things:

• Recent PL sessions run by the ETA (and associated discussions online) suggest that the most popular English Extension 1 elective will be 'Worlds of Upheaval'. Very few seem interested in teaching Literary Mindscapes (the Hamlet option) so Shakespeare's relegation to this section of the Extension syllabus means that its probably not a text we'll be seeing in Year 12 much.
• The rules around Prescribed texts prohibit any of the Year 12 texts from being taught at a Year 11 level, so Hamlet's inclusion in this obscure part of the Senior English syllabuses means that it also can't even be used in Preliminary as a preparatory text.

I think this is a little sad. The vast majority of NSW senior students won't get to experience Hamlet over the course of the next five years (at least). Ah, Hamlet, I knew him well...

Anyway! Attached here are the revision notes that I used with my Year 12 Advanced English class last year. This follows the same format as other Year 12 Advanced English revisions notes I've previously uploaded (Discovery, Metropolis and Nineteen Eighty-Four, and W.H. Auden). Notable quotes are accompanied by some general analysis designed to model different ways of interpreting and connecting textual examples to themes and context.

Here it is: Module B: Critical Study of a Text - Hamlet

In addition to the above analysis here is an overview of techniques and aspects of the text related to themes / the rubric / context. These are as follows:

Techniques

• Foreshadowing
• Characterisation - particularly in reference to Shakespeare's use of foils (there are two in Hamlet!)
• Antithesis
• Hendiadys (if there was ever a time to talk about this literary device it's with Hamlet, which probably uses this technique more than any other text).
• Metaphor
• Motif
• Mockery
• Repetition
• Rhythm - Iambic Pentameter, and disruption to.
• Imagery
• Zoomorphia
• Hyperbole
• Bombast and bombastic language
• Puns, alliteration, and other forms of wordplay
• Rhetoric
• Soliloquy
• Verse vs. Prose
• Dramatic Irony 

Aspects of the Text / Context

• Gender - perspectives of the masculine and feminine
• The Great Chain of Being
• Elizabethan anxieties/concerns related to succession, corruption, etc. 
• Appearance vs. reality
• The old world of chivalry vs. the new world of subterfuge
• Protestantism
• Existentialism and Mortality
• Purgatory and its relevance in Shakespeare's society
• The Renaissance
• Tyrannicide - philosophical arguments for and against in regards to Hamlet
• Universalism
• Sovereignty 
• Humanism
• The influence of the new 16th genre 'the essay' on Shakespeare's Hamlet
• Hamlet's adherence to the tragedy genre
• The role of consanguinity in regards to character dynamics in the play

Further reading:

Kenneth Branagh's Hamlet

Making Feedback a Big Rock

One of my mentors, a History/English teacher named Yvette Woodrow, once told me to "Pick what you want to be good at". There's a lot to consider when it comes to being a teacher in the 21st century; first and foremost are our students - teaching them, assessing them, assisting them in their journeys through school, and fulfilling our duty of care as their legal supervisors. Then there are other elements of our job (and I don't think I could ever successfully list all of these here without missing something) so here's just a few:

• Administration pertaining to student attendance
• Programming / writing resources
• Building behaviour management protocols that can be used beyond the immediate time and place
• Monitoring and assisting in the welfare of students, also beyond the immediate time and place of the classroom
• Professional learning 
• Collecting data in support of whole school initiatives and student growth
• Timetabling classes and playground duties
• Organising excursions 
• Report writing and parent-teacher evenings
• Year Advising
• Working in conjunction for Federation to support issues such as staff wellbeing and Gonski funding
• Whole school programs separate to our assigned classes, such as: Literacy and Numeracy initiatives, supporting AIME and other diversity-specific mentoring, after-school homework assistance programs, Gifted and Talented projects, sports coaching, student-led discussion and special interest groups, Positive Behaviour for Learning, learning support, leadership programs, community links, debating and public speaking, Tournament of the Minds, music and dance and drama performance evenings, etc.

You would be hard pressed to be doing all of these things well all of the time. So when I went to the Project Zero 2017 Sydney Conference a few weeks back and was shown a particular video I found myself thinking of what Yvette said: pick what you want to be good at.

The video in question is Stephen Covey's philosophy on 'Big Rocks'...

This clip was used by Rachel Merhebi, a HSIE teacher from the Ku-ring-gai High School Action Research Team, in support of a session titled 'Making Feedback a Big Rock'. It put me in mind of Yvette's maxim because we can't do everything as teachers, just as we can't in life. We have to work out the priorities first and then make these the 'big rocks'.

Okay. Metaphor over.

Ms. Merhebi took us through a few ideas centered around feedback, some of which were influenced by the texts Power of Protocol by McDonald, Mohr, Dichter, and McDonald, and Feedback edited by Robbie M. Sutton. The driving question for this professional learning was: How can I help my students become more disposed to seeking feedback?

Part of this process is establishing the kind of feedback we want to provide for our students, and Ms. Merhebi drew the conclusion that feedback should be:

• Descriptive
• Goal-oriented
• Specific
• Actionable
• Constructive
• Timely

In the case of peer feedback, the main areas to focus on should for it to be specific and constructive. The reason for concentrating the feedback in this way is that when peer assessment is involved we want to keep in mind that it's just as useful for the student giving the feedback as it is for the student who receives it. I've found that engaging my Advanced English students in the process of giving feedback has been an effective activity in directing their focus towards discrete essay writing skills.

For the Preliminary and HSC Advanced English comparative study modules I've made use of a peer editing proforma as part of the essay writing process. These modules are: Animal Farm and Elysium for Year 11, and the 1984 and Metropolis option for Year 12. In order for students to meet the 'reflection' requirements of the assessment task (for both modules) they need to have at least two students complete peer editing proformas for their work.

The proforma they use is here.

In addition to this I was inspired by Ms. Merhebi's session to make use of one of the many strategies she outlined. This particular approach comes from Creative Cultures of Thinking educator Simon Brooks and involves running individual feedback sessions for students. The basic gist is that the student comes along to a pre-arranged appointment, receives feedback from the teacher on the spot as the teacher marks the piece of writing right there, and then walks away with specific goals.

Simon Brooks - Professional Development guru

It sounds fairly straightforward and, really, it is - but I also found it to be quite empowering for the students, and immensely practical for me.

Putting it into Practice

The reason I waited until now to write this blog (rather than writing it directly after the Project Zero conference) was that I wanted to see how this approach went.

There are so many great ideas at professional learning conferences like Project Zero that it's just about impossible to put all of these ideas into practice. This brings us back to Yvette's wisdom and the 'big rocks' approach. Whilst sitting in Rachel Merhebi's workshop I decided to zone in on just this one strategy as something I'd like to try. I picked something and ran with it, rather than tried to note all the things. That might just sound like commonsense to some of you... for me it's a piece of advice that I need to constantly keep in mind so I don't drown in trying to do too much.

Anyway, here's my recount of how this feedback approach went down:

1. I had students undertake a past HSC Creative Writing question in exam conditions during class time. It was something I wanted to provide some meaningful feedback on as I find it difficult to embed creative writing into the set modules for the HSC.
2. I collected the responses and then put made available a booking sheet where up to 5 students could book in to see me in one of six times (a couple of my lunchtimes and non-teaching periods that overlapped with their own study periods). 
3. The students then came to see me in groups of 1-5 and I sat them down independently for ten minutes at a time.
4. Before this point I didn't even read the responses. The key idea that Ms. Merhebi spoke about was that it should be assessed in front of the students so they can see what the process is. The bonus of doing it in this way is that I'm also not spending time marking responses for those senior students who aren't interested, which is very practical when it comes to non-formally assessed tasks. 
5. While sitting with the student I read the piece and talk them through what works and what doesn't, show them the HSC criteria, and give them an idea of what needs to be aimed for the next time they write a creative piece under the same conditions. Something that many of the students struggled with was to sustain their idea across at least three to four pages within the time limit given, so the advice could include a goal in the sense that they should aim to increase the length of their piece by a page each time we undertake a past HSC Discovery Creative question.

 And so ends this freewheeling account of professional learning and feedback ideas.

Conflict in the Pacific: HSC Questions

At the moment, I'm gearing up to teach Section IV: International Study in Peace and Conflict, Option D: Conflict in the Pacific for Modern History in Term 3. Part of my preparation for this is to backward map from the HSC Exam (which is just around the corner!) so, like any Year 12 teacher, I started looking at past HSC paper questions.

Part of backward mapping from assessment is to determine what exactly needs to be taught to the students but, as the HSC paper for this year isn't something teachers are told in advance (for obvious reasons), I have to be quite investigative to make sure I cover all my bases. So I went through all the past papers from the last 15 years and had a look at the questions for this option. 

Then I worked out which of the four sections from the syllabus each question matched up to. The four sections being:

• Section 1: Growth of Pacific Tensions
• Section 2: Course of the Pacific War
• Section 3: Civilians at War
• Section 4: End of the Conflict

Turns out they've been covered fairly equally over the last four years, as you can see from this table below:

So this means that, potentially, a student could be asked about any of the sections of the syllabus in the HSC, so it's best that they have a good understanding of each and every section so they've got something to work with no matter what. This is, of course, just common sense - it shouldn't be a surprise that the Board of Studies want every part of the syllabus taught (and understood). I think it's just good to see that this transfers into the HSC exam though, with equal consideration given to each section.

Anyway, just for good measure, here's the actual questions and my matching of each one to the corresponding section. The red ones are the questions from the pre-2006 papers.

To what extent was Japanese foreign policy from 1937 to 1941responsible for the increasing tensions that eventually led to war? (Section 1)

To what extent did imperialism and the various responses to it contribute to the growth of Pacific tensions in the period 1937-1941? (Section 1)

Assess the role of US and British policies in the Pacific from 1937 to 1941 in the outbreak of the Pacific war. (Section 1)

Assess the impact of strategies used by the Japanese and the Allies in the Pacific in the period 1937-1951. (Sections 1, 2, 4)

To what extent did Japanese nationalism lead to the bombing of Pearl Harbour in 1941? (Section 1)

To what extent did Japanese nationalism cause the outbreak of war with the United States in 1941? (Section 1)

"Japan had little choice but to bomb Pearl Harbour if it wanted to achieve its foreign policy aims in the Pacific." To what extent is this statement accurate? (Section 1)

Discuss the impact of imperialism in the Pacific from the Japanese attack on China in 1937 until Japan's occupation of South-East Asia in 1942. (Sections 1, 3)

Discuss the impact of Japanese imperialism on Asian peoples in occupied territories from the Japanese attack on China to 1945. (Sections 1, 3)  

The success of the Japanese advance to 1942 could not be maintained, and led to Japan's defeat in 1945. (Sections 2, 3, 4)

Explain the failure of the Japanese armed forces to consolidate their position after the fall of Singapore. (Section 2, 3)

Assess the view that the Battle of the Coral Sea was the main turning point in the Pacific War (Section 2)

Evaluate the view that the Battle of the Coral Sea was the major turning point in the course of the Pacific War. (Section 2)

To what extent was the Battle of Midway the most significant turning point in the Pacific War? (Section 2)

Assess the significance of Japan's defeat in the Battle of Midway for the outcome of the Pacific War. (Section 2) 

Account for the defeat of Japan in 1945 despite its dominant strategic position in 1942. (Sections 2, 3, 4)

Assess the effectiveness of the strategies used by Allied forces against Japan in the period 1942-1945 (Sections 2, 4)

To what extent was the impact of war on Asian peoples in Japanese-occupied territories a major factor leading to decolonisation in Southeast Asia? (Section 3)

Assess the impact of the war on civilians in territories occupied by Japan in South-East Asia. (Section 3)

Assess the impact on civilians of the Japanese occupation in South-East Asia in the period 1941 to 1945. (Section 3)

"The effect of the war on the home fronts was the same for Japan and Australia". To what extent is this statement accurate? (Section 3)

Assess the effect of the war on civilians in Japan and EITHER Australia OR the United States between 1941 and 1951. (Section 3) 

To what extent did the use of the A-bomb bring about the end of the conflict? (Section 4)

Evaluate the view that the Japanese armed forces were largely responsible for the US decision to use the A-bomb to end the conflict in the Pacific. (Section 4) 

Evaluate the view that the United States had no option but to use the atomic bomb in 1945. (Section 4)

Evaluate the view that the aims of the Allied powers were achieved successfully in the occupation of Japan in the period up to 1951. (Section 4)

Discuss the impact of the Allied occupation on Japan in the period 1945-1951. (Section 4) 

Evaluate the view that maintaining the status of the Emperor was responsible for the success of the Allied Occupation of Japan to 1951. (Section 4)

How successful was the Allied Occupation of Japan in achieving its aims to 1951? (Section 4)

Pearl Harbor, 1941

And that's it so far. It will be fun to see what comes up in this year's exam. I've included most of this information on a sheet for students, which you can access here - Resource: Essay Practice.

Breadth and Depth

This is my third year now taking my students along to the HTA Senior History HSC Study Day that's held annually at the University of Sydney, and one thing I've noticed (in comparison to previous years) is the emphasis on breadth and depth when instructing students on the best strategy for tackling Modern History essays. 

It makes sense, and it's not particularly revolutionary in concept, but I really like the use of these terms to bring clarity to the art of writing an extended response in the History topics. I have a tendency to sometimes think of Modern History essays as a poor cousin to the kinds of essays we have students write for Standard and Advanced English, but in the adoption of a model that emphasises breadth and depth it becomes a bit more specific to History. 

At the HSC Study Day, the presenters Jonathon Dallimore and Michael Molkentin both spoke in some detail about this essay model in a periphery sense. Here's an example given by Molkentin in relationship to Part A of the Personality Section of the HSC Modern History exam (for our comrade Trotsky, of course):

Let's say there's a question about Leon Trotsky's rise to prominence (and it's fairly likely, as this is one of the four major dot points of the Trotsky syllabus).

In order to achieve breadth, the student will need to cover at least three different aspects of Trotsky's rise to prominence, with good examples being:

• Trotsky's role in the 1905 Revolution
• Trotsky's writing between 1906-1917
• Trotsky's role in October 1917  

These act as themes for students to hang their response on. You could also call these 'ideas', and it wouldn't be a bad thing at all if a student structured their response as a paragraph per theme or idea.

Of course, it isn't enough to just have breadth. That doesn't make for a very long essay. In addition to breadth, there needs to be depth. That is, there needs to be detail or elaboration on the points that have been made about the themes.

Here is what Molkentin offers as depth for the examples given above:

• Trotsky's role in the 1905 Revolution
• Belief that workers should be involved in the revolution (which contrasted with Lenin's belief that the Party should act as the vanguard of the revolution).
• His role in the Petersburg Soviet as its leader before his arrest.
• Speaking for the workers in the General Strikes (which acted as a prelude to the revolution).

• Trotsky's writing between 1906-17
• Results and Prospects (1906) and its expression of the theory of Permanent Revolution.
• His work as a war correspondent in the Balkans in 1912-13, and on the Western Front.

• Trotsky's role in October 1917
• Making amends with Lenin and the Bolsheviks during 1917.
• His role in the July Days and his continued disagreements with Lenin.
• The seizure of power in October. 

Pretty good, huh? There's more than enough there to fill approximately 17 minutes worth of writing in the HSC exam (17 minutes being the projected time that students should limit themselves to in completing Part A of the Personality Section of the paper).

So, in summation, students are asked to come to terms with questions in the Modern History HSC exam, whether it be the National Study, Conflict Study, Personality Study or even an extended response at the end of the World War I section (the extended response draft structure above is just one example). In doing this, students need to demonstrate both breadth and depth of understanding. This means constructing a response that makes use of multiple themes, and with each theme backed up with sufficient detail. 

That's one way to do it, and I reckon its worth getting your students to give it a try, especially if they're struggling with structuring their responses in exam conditions.